The less serious side of emergency care work

There’re a lot of serious issues in the world today, especially in the world of the emergency services so I’ve decided to take a light hearted look at some funny episodes I’ve encountered over the years.  No one was seriously harmed in any of these jobs and everyone involved saw the funny side of the event at the time so I’m not laughing at peoples misfortunes, I’m laughing with people at their own misfortunes, so that’s ok!

  1. At a Halloween party one guest had a nose bleed and another guest fainted at the sight of the blood. You guessed it, the fainter was dressed up as count Dracula.
  2. All the ambulances have fire extinguishers on them, one in the cab and one in the back where the patients are. They are fixed to the wall in a wire frame from which we can quickly remove them if needed.  This particular day, the extinguisher was stored at floor level on the side wall near one of the fold down chairs.  For some reason the safety pin had been knocked clear and a particularly heavy footed colleague accidentally kicked the trigger and discharged all the foam.  The back of the ambulance looked like an Ibiza foam party after a few minutes and he was covered from the waist down in foam.
  3. A young lady had spent ages working on her hair for a party and had used a large amount of hairspray. She was admiring the finished result and stopped to have a cigarette.  As the lighter sparked, her hair on one side of her head ignited due to the hairspray fumes. All that work, not to mention a significant amount of hair disappeared in a flash.  Luckily her skin was not burned.
  4. I was dealing with a hiker who had fallen down a steep, rocky slope. Due to the possibility of spinal injury from the fall we had immobilised him on the scoop stretcher before moving him onto the ambulance.  He was complaining of a lot of pain from his arm.  It was not possible to take his jacket off in the normal way because he was strapped to the scoop stretcher and also his arm was causing too much pain to move and bend.  The only way was to cut it off.  Sometimes people are more worried about us cutting and ruining their clothes than they are about their injuries.  This hiker had a lovely warm duvet jacket, as soon as the scissors cut into it the feathers seemed to explode out of it.  There seemed to be an impossible amount of feathers crammed into that sleeve, we were finding them in the ambulance for days after.
  5. It was ladies night in a club and a troop of male strippers were entertaining the local ladies. As part of his act one stripper picked up a lady to swing her round. Unfortunately the baby oil she had just rubbed into his arms and chest had got onto his hands to and she slipped from his grip onto the floor straining her ankle.
  6. One young man had enjoyed a night at a club with his friends. When he got home he was hungry.  Looking round his kitchen, he fancied a can of beans.  He couldn’t find the tin opener so to save time his drunken brain thought he would stab the tin open with a screw driver.  One slip later and we were called to tend to the self inflicted stab wound in his hand.
  7. A young lady had spent a boring evening with her boyfriend and his best friend. The friend had called round for a quick drink and was still there hours later while she wanted some quality alone time with her boyfriend. Finally the friend left and as the door shut she leapt into her boyfriend’s arms expecting a passionate kiss at last but unfortunately he dropped her and she sprained her ankle.  She spent the next few hours of quality time with her boyfriend in the waiting room of the local Emergency Dept.
  8. A young couple were trying things to spice up their love life. This particular night they were playing with a pair of toy handcuffs.  Unfortunately when they were finished one of the handcuff bracelets jammed on the man’s wrist and wouldn’t unlock.  The more he tried the tighter it got until the circulation was being restricted and his fingers were tingling.  I managed to break them without hurting him by using a pair of pliers and a screwdriver so he didn’t have to face the embarrassment of sitting in a waiting room at the hospital wearing a pair of toy handcuffs.
  9. A woman was in her loft organising the stuff she kept up there. The loft didn’t have floorboards so she was balancing on the rafters.  She misplaced her foot and stood on the plasterboard between the rafters.  It didn’t take her weight and she fell through to the bedroom below.  Luckily she landed well and didn’t hurt herself.  Unluckily she was disorientated and couldn’t see because of lots of plaster dust which had got everywhere and she staggered to the top of the stairs and fell down them too.  Thankfully the xrays showed that there were no broken bones, just bruising and a big job of redecorating her bedroom to look forward to.
  10. One day we were dealing with a fall and had immobilised the patient on the scoop stretcher.  My mate and I went to pick the scoop up and place it on our trolley.  As I bent and squatted to get in position for the lift, with a loud rip my trousers tore from front to back.  Despite it being a warm summer day I had to wear my jacket to cover my embarrassment until I could get back to base to change.

 

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